During the introduction to the game Pick Up Song on BBC Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't Clue, the host, Humphrey Lyttleton, recounts a tale of scorer Samantha's time in the gramaphone library:**Important** - A
warning about a new book about Humphrey Lyttelton.
As is customary, Samantha went down to the gramaphone library earlier, where she says there's been some sort of misunderstanding. Of late, the usually friendly archivists haven't been very welcoming, claiming Samantha has been rubbing them up the wrong way. She says she had to give them a good mouthful, and that soon put them straight.
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Record researcher Samantha visits the gramaphone library every workday, where she says she finds the old archivists like to indulge in petty bartering before they'll fetch her chosen disks. This could be irritating, but Samantha says she doesn't really mind if they want to dicker about five times a week.
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Each week Samantha goes off to the gramaphone library, a labarinthine maze of dusty shelves and filing cabinets. The place can be a little daunting, but the kindly old archivists know their way around and provide Samantha with accurate maps. She says it's always good to know they're going to offer her good solid directions, which they prepare by hand before waving them under her nose.
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As usual, Samantha has been down in the gramaphone library researching the teams' records, aided and abetted by the two kindly old archivists, Curly Smith and Chalky White. Samantha was saying she's been helping them rearrange their work rostas recently. Chalky was getting a bit worried that Samantha might reduce his overtime shift, but cheered up when instead he saw her shorten Curly's.
Earlier, Samantha went down to the gramaphone library to choose the teams' records. While she's there the kindly old archivist usually ask Samantha to do a few routine maintenance tasks for him, including checking the ancient sound equipment. This week there was cleaning off some rust, replacing record needles, and attending to a stiff knob on his list of tasks. It was quite a long one, so she asked if he didn't mind her sitting on it for a while.
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Samantha tells me that down in the gramaphone library there's been a spot of good-natured rivalry recently, as she's been promoted ahead of the two kindly old archivists, to become senior researcher. There wasn't, frankly, much competition for the post and Samantha realises the job fell in her lap, but the archivists never complain when she rubs their noses in it.
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Record researcher Samantha has been doing her regular stint down in the gramaphone library, where she tells me the two old archivists have been getting a little fractious of late. They've been at each other's throats about which of them will represent the archive in judging the BBC's Most Shapely Legs competition. To quieten things down, Samantha had to keep them apart all morning.
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Record researcher Samantha has made one of her customary visits to the gramaphone library, where she runs errands for the kindly old archivists, such as nipping out to fetch their sandwiches. There favourite treat is cheese with homemade chutney, but they never object when she palms them off with relish.
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Samantha spends many long hours with the two kindly old gramaphone archivists who, as is usual when we visit a seaside town, she's brought along for a day out. As they're particulary keen on the local seafoods, Samantha treats them to a special meal and they both sit in eager anticipation as Samantha flits about with her hostess trolley and hands round their winkles.
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Samantha spends so many hours down in the gramaphone library researching this, that she's become quite friendly with the kindly old archivists. They often ask if they can borrow her portfolio album, as they're keen to know what she looked like in her modelling days. It always cheers them up when they find Samantha's left it out on the table for them to inspect.