I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Quotes, Series 36 - 39

Samantha Has To Go Now...

BBC Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't Clue scorer Samantha rarely stays until the end of the show. Here's some of her excuses for leaving early:

**Important** - A warning about a new book about Humphrey Lyttelton.

Samantha has to nip off now as she's selling her seaside apartment. She tells me she's got a man coming round who's keen to inspect her flat out on the beach.

Samantha says she has to nip off now as she's been invited to stay with her new gentleman friend in his Bordeaux chateau. He's asked her to help taste some of his vintage clarets and she's looking forward to trying a robust '86 and a rather tempting '72, before joining him in the cellar to enjoy a full-bodied '69.

Samantha tells me she has to go now as she needs to nip out and see her local pharmacist. He keeps a wide range of tanning cream for her legs and he's always happy to spread them out for her on the counter.

Samantha has to nip off now as her plumber is sending round the man who does the annual safety test on her gas boiler, which always gives her great peace of mind. She says it's good to feel the plumber's tester calls at regular intervals.

Samantha has to nip off now to meet her constituency chairman for a trip to the house, as she says his member's going up for an all night session.

Samantha tells me she has to nip off now as she's auditioning as an extra in The Bill. She's really looking forward to that: according to the script her character gets fingered by the fuzz.

Samantha has to nip out now as she's just heard that her gentlemen's outfitter friend has won salesman of the year. She's keen to rush over and surprise him with a big kiss in the trouser department, where he's been 'specially outstanding.

Samantha has nip out to meet a yachting friend who's a bit down in the dumps and stuck indoors. She says he's not been feeling himself lately, so she's going to get him out in her little boat. When she feels there's a swell on she'll know his pecker's up again.

Samantha has to go now as she's off to meet her Italian gentleman friend who's taking her out for an ice cream. She says she likes nothing better than to spend the evening licking the nuts off a large Neopolitan.

Our resident IT expert, Samantha, tells me she has to nip out to meet a young man who's having problems configuring his new PC. She says he's just called to say his zip is down, his floppy keeps popping out and he feels he needs more bytes on it.

Samantha tells me she has to nip out to the local golf course where she's caddying for a nice old gentleman. She's learnt all about the different types of club and she says if he gets stuck in an awkward lay she'll pull out his wood and nibblet.

Samantha has to rush off to meet her new footballer friend. He's very busy playing in the first and second rounds of an international, but she says there should be just time to give him a quick kiss between the legs.

Samantha has to nip away to be photographed for a double page feature in the Radio Times. The editor says that, in case she needs any touching up, he wants to inspect her spread on his desk first.

Samantha's just started keeping bees and already has three dozen or so. She says she's got an expert handler coming round to give a demonstration. He'll carefully take out her 38 bees and soon have them flying round his head.

Samantha has to nip out to meet a nice old colonel who's promised to show her his parade ground, and might even let her inspect his privates.

Samantha tells me she's been training as a jockey for a leading racehorse owner. She's hoping to be entered at Newmarket next week for 2000 guineas.

Samantha has to nip off to the coast now for a spot of lobster fishing with some lads on their boat. They never forget where they dropped their pots 'cause it's where Samantha tossed a large buoy over the side.

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